The Book of Eli

Greetings Strangers and Friends!

Another fine day for a fine movie. And that fine movie was The Book of Eli. Have you seen it? What did you think?

uh-huh.

Yeah.

Shut up, this isn't your blog. It's mine. Now pay attention.
The Book of Eli stars Denzel Washington as a road weary but dedicated loner travelling through a bleached-out, post-armageddon landscape. He carries a book which he reads dilligently, and he fights off marauders and thieves on his trek. The fight scene under the overpass is awesome. It's all sillhouetted. That's a little detail for ya. I like to throw you a bone now and then to keep you interested. See how great I am. Now get outta here ya bother me.

Eli comes to a town. The day-to-day of survival in this blasted world is well shown here; where actual necessities have become the currency of the day. Books are rare treasures. Water is life. Sunglasses are more important than guns, which most times won't fire. Eli orders just a water in a bar, and the bartender replies, "oh, that's the good stuff.... it'll cost ya." Eli pays in gloves and a hat. Or something equally as trivial in our world today. The point is, before the global holocaust we threw away things that people now kill for.

The story is well told. The camera work is patient and enjoyable. It is a little graphic for those with weaker stomachs, but not excessively so. AND it has Denzel in it. Hello? Denzel Washington people. What was the last movie he made that sucked? That's right, you can't think of one. I reckon there are four types of actors. Good actors who make some poor choices, (Kevin Spacey). Bad actors who make poor choices, (Tom Cruise). Bad actors who make some good choices, (Brad Pitt) and actors who kick a$$, (thank you Denzel).

I'm not kidding. The preview could be crayon drawn and the story could revolve entirely around a hippo chasing her dreams of becoming a ballerina with a crocodile. Along the way she meets a gentle but gruff old goat who delivers wise council through proverbs about toilet activities and teaches her the value of patience and dedication. She then falls in love with a rhino in a leather jacket and a bad attitude, despite the differences of their cultures and his fixation with legos. He is nothing but bad news for her dreams, which she sacrifices to build the perfect life with rhino boy, who leaves her near the end for a plastic pink flamingo in old Mrs. Halloways yard. Through a memory sequence involving the goat she remembers her dreams, and through montage footage she trains and works and becomes the best ballerina she can, in spite of the abusive mother that constantly tells her she's a hippo. The music to the soundtrack is anything by Nickleback and Lady Gaga, and if at any point Denzel popped his head up and said, "I'm in this movie, too" it would instantly become watchable.

The Book of Eli is WAY better than that.