Repo Men

Greetings Merry Jinglers!

That wonderful time of year is almost upon us, when people's dreams turn to snow. When rosy cheeks and leaking noses are the exclamation points on a child's face that say, we had fun today! When the trees stand stark and naked, and the sun peeks at the earth only rarely. When laughter bubbles quietly in the wind, as if to say somewhere a secret has been told! I don't know what the "H" I'm talking about. None of this has anything to do with the movie I just watched, Repo Men. In fact, if you liked the first four sentences of this paragraph, you probably will not like Repo Men.

You've probably never heard of it. It is newer, and I vaguely remember seeing a preview for it a while ago, but really this one seems to have flown under the radar, so to speak. Why do we say, "so to speak?" Is it to enlighten you, constant reader, and let you know that what was just said was not, in fact literal. Just in case when I said that you thought, "This must be an airplane movie where they have to fly somewhere stealthily, thus the allusion to 'under the radar'". Well a pox upon my head, dear friends! I should have more faith in your ability to discern whether or not I am being literal or figurative or metaphorical or hypothetical.
or Allegorical.
Catalogical.
Sabatical.
Hyper-unethical.
Bombastical.
Categorical.
These are words that end in 'ical'.
Word games. heh. I can type whatever I want.

Repo Men stars that one guy with the british accent and that one guy with the squinty eye.... um what are their names? Right! Jude Law and Forest Whitaker. I was actually pleasantly suprised by this movie. Let me first sum up the plot, in a way that reveals nothing of substance, so that you may enjoy this movie yourself.

Set in the near future, this global corporation makes and sells artificial organs on credit. The story revolves around some of this corporation's 'repo men', who's job it is to go and collect the organs if payment is late enough. You read that right. They go and take back the organs if payment is delinquent. This movie is bloody, dry, and not at all shy about showing you what's happening. It approaches it's gore with an almost surgical detachment, as if this is really just another day on the job for these guys. Quite entertaining. I'm telling you, there was a twenty minute span where I sat on my floor with my hands on my cheeks saying, "OH!" over and over. Good stuff. Expect blood and violence. Expect a quick scene of anatomical revelation.(Nudity)

The twist comes when the top repo man is involved in an accident, and must accept an artifical heart. You can probably guess where it goes from there. He misses payment due to not getting right back to work because of the trauma of his accident. Who is sent to repo his heart? His best friend, that's who. Because his boss is a twisted and detached S.O.B. Good fight scenes, adequate dialogue, interesting ideas and, wait for it....

AWESOME ENDING.

I wasn't expecting it. The ending is like this. Imagine you're on a boat. It's a small, beaten vessel and you are tossed about mercilessly on stormy waters. You cling for life. You gasp for breath. You even go so far as to consider a quick end to the matter. You're bed-sheet sail is torn away as your mast is broken in the deluge. Finally the long, dark night draws to an end as dawn begins painting the horizon pink. Waters settle. The rocking of your boat takes on a caring and easy cadence. You catch your breath and whisper a thank you to your God that you survived the storm. Smoother waters are ahead and look! There's an island with what looks like a small village on it! You're saved! You are weary, but you jump and scream until you see a small craft leave the island and head for you. You lay back in your boat and allow yourself to drowse because all is well. You will soon be safe where you belong.

Then a Kraken rears up under you and eats you, boat and all. The end.

So to speak.


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